No More Slip Ups

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Non-slip Banana BanaBay

As a result of our increasingly litigious society, with soaring accident compensation claims on businesses and local authorities, scientists have been developing a banana with a non-slip peel as part of a long-term experiment into the nature of slippery surfaces.

The new variant was achieved by cross breeding the banana with the Teazle, a plant well known for its grip, to transform the nature of the banana skin from slippery to sticky.  Although the research, which has been sponsored by the UK’s newest banana brand BanaBay, has been hailed as a success in theory, control groups have found the new non-slip banana almost impossible to peel, so consumers won’t be seeing the non-slip banana on supermarket shelves anytime soon.

A spokesperson for IntelliGrip, the group behind the experiment, explained the aim of the development.

“We produce extreme grip solutions for consumers as diverse as free-climbers and aircraft manufacturers, and we wanted to trial a new high-grip idea on a famously slippery surface, which is how we came up with the non-slip banana concept.”

The project has been derided by anti-GM protestors as yet another case of frankenfruit, but the scientists at IntelliGrip argue that the non-slip banana could eventually lead to ground breaking progress in high velocity gripping technology.

Surprisingly, the experiment has raised eyebrows culturally too, with die hard comedy fans jokingly questioning the future of the banana gag – but head scientist at Intellitect, Dr Platanorey reveals that his team appreciate the humour of a non-slip banana peel.

“The comedy of the situation did not escape us,’ says Dr Platanorey. ‘It’s serious research but we have had a lot of fun with the idea of a non-slip banana – we have nicknamed the project ‘Operation Monkeying Around’, which reflects our enjoyment of the experiment.”

BanaBay Managing Director Mark O’Sullivan added, “As a new brand, we’re happy to support an important development based around bananas that will potentially protect our customers from accidents and will also contribute to scientific advancement on a wider scale. We look forward to the next stages and to announcing future positive results in due course.”

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